Red Nails, New Trails: Forging Your Identity After Service

In this episode of Exit Buddy: Veteran Stories to Guide You, 20-year Air Force veteran Trecie Spencer shares her journey from joining the Air Force at 17 to a successful career as a project manager at GSA. She dives into how a phone line snafu at Nellis Air Force Base launched her networking mindset, how dreams of colorful nails signaled her military exit, and how a hiring freeze curveball tested her resilience. With a mantra of “presence over possessions,” Trecie prioritizes a life rich with experiences over material things and inspires listeners to step into discomfort to grow and find their identity.

Chapters

• 01:10 Trecie’s Air Force Beginnings
• 02:14 Lessons Learned at Nellis Air Force Base
• 04:31 Feeling the Retirement Shift After 20 Years
• 07:21 Military Transition Is Like Graduating from High School
• 09:38 Staying Grounded During a Hiring Freeze
• 13:16 Trecie’s Passion for New Experiences and Travel
• 14:56 Proudest Moment: Staying True to Values
• 16:09 Make Yourself Uncomfortable

Key Takeaways

• Learn from Mistakes: Embrace your errors as learning opportunities. As Trecie shares, there’s no better lesson learned than the one that you’ve made a mistake on.
• Listen to Inner Signals: Recognize that small rebellions—like Trecie’s nail-color cravings—might indicate it’s time to retire and reclaim your identity outside the uniform.
• Pause to Rediscover Yourself: Set aside time post-service, as Trecie suggests, to enjoy retirement and explore who you are beyond the military.
• Pursue What Fuels You: Remember what truly matters to you—whether it’s travel and new adventures or something else—to shape a fulfilling life after service. 
• Step Outside Your Comfort Zone: Growth often lies beyond what feels comfortable. Trecie encourages veterans to embrace discomfort, as taking risks and trying new things can lead to unexpected opportunities and personal development.

Follow us for more veteran stories to guide your transition journey, and text this episode to a fellow service member who’s navigating their exit. Until next time, paint those nails red and step boldly onto your new trail!

Visit us at https://exitbuddy.buzzsprout.com to learn more about the show.

Have feedback or questions for us? Email us at ashleyjones.creative@gmail.com.

Transcript

Kathleen Smith 00:20

Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Exit Buddy: Veteran Stories to Guide You. This is Kathleen, and I’m back in the studio with Rachel, who’s rocking her 80s hairstyle to unpack another military transition journey. Good morning, Rachel.

Rachel Bozeman 00:38

Well, good morning. The 80s were a great time, but not as great as what we’re gonna do here today, and do some amazing things with an amazing guest and hear some amazing stories. So enough of my amazing talk, Kathleen, who’s here?

Kathleen Smith 00:54

So without further ado, we’re thrilled to have Trecie Spencer, an Air Force veteran who’s served 20 years and now shines as a project manager at the GSA. Trecie, welcome to the show.

Trecie Spencer 01:06

Good morning. Thank you for having me.

Rachel Bozeman 01:10

Rumor has it that you joined the Air Force at the prime age of 17, but I understand you were given some valuable intel before you even decided to join up. What advice from your family shaped the beginning of your military journey?

Trecie Spencer 01:25

So yes, I did join the Air Force at 17. I actually graduated high school a year early and decided to start my journey and get out of the small town that I was in. I grew up in a military family, so I had my dad and my uncles in the army. My mother was in the army for a short time, and my stepdad was currently in the Air Force. So I am so blessed and fortunate to have had him in my life. At that time, he gave me all of the tips I needed to get into the career field that I got into. So some of the lesser-known things—if the TI ever asked you, “Do you bowl?”—of course they know, because then you’ll be cleaning the toilet bowls—to more substantial things, like when you go to do your pull test, which is a bar that you have to lift, don’t lift too much, because then you’ll end up in a manual labor job. So that, along with my ASVAB scores, I was set.

Kathleen Smith 02:14

Those sound like some very, very important tips. I’m sure everyone would have appreciated that kind of advice along the way. So during our pre-call, you said, “The best way to learn is from your mistakes.” That is really great advice. I always say it’s not what you get on your shoe, it’s how you get it off. So how did a mishap with phones not working at Nellis Air Force Base instill that mindset in you? And have you carried that mentality throughout your career since?

Trecie Spencer 02:44

Absolutely. So this was my very first project at Nellis Air Force Base as an IT project manager. So you can imagine, at 17, we don’t know much about what project management is, and our job title, I think, was actually like communications, computer systems, planning and implementation—so it’s forever long, you don’t really know what it is. You’re a teenager sitting at a desk like, “What am I supposed to be doing now?” So the military expects you to operate independently. So we were kind of on our own a little bit, most of us youngsters that had come into the office at that time. My job was to get all of the phone lines and internet lines inside of the dog kennels at Nellis Air Force Base. So we had a ribbon cutting with the wing commander, and he got there, and Murphy’s Law, of course—he needed to use the phones, and there were no phones because Airman Irvin at the time did not know what she was doing. So I definitely got chewed out that day, and I learned a very valuable lesson, and it’s actually kind of taught me to be more social and network more to get the job done right. So I was very shy when I came in—the military instilled that in me to network and do your job and be social and speak to people. So I absolutely carry that into my career now, and networking is actually part of why I feel like I’m successful today. So that was very, very helpful for me, and of course, no better lesson learned than the one that you’ve made a mistake on.

Kathleen Smith 04:08

I’m so glad that you shared the dog kennels at Nellis Air Force Base, because in a previous job, I used to put together—what was it—the military working dog care packages, and we would send them to Nellis so that they would be sent out. I’m sure you had fun playing with the puppies.

Trecie Spencer 04:24

Yes, absolutely. And thank you for those care packages. I know they were definitely appreciated.

Kathleen Smith 04:29

You’re welcome.

Rachel Bozeman 04:31

Awesome. Well, over your 20-year career in the Air Force, it sounds like you really kind of set yourself up for success with that transition, as you were thinking with the end in mind. So tell us a little bit about how it felt when the time came to retire.

Trecie Spencer 04:46

Yeah, so going into the military, as I said, I had a military family, right? So I had my stepdad to give me the practical advice to set myself up. But I didn’t really know if I wanted to stay in until retirement or just make it a four-year, get my GI Bill. So my father kind of stepped into that place, and he’s like, “You know, it’s definitely worth it.” He was in the process of retiring. He had transitioned to the guard to finish out his time. But such valuable advice—I mean, having a pension for the rest of your life at 37, you really cannot beat it, right? So when the time did come for me to push the button to retire, I’m sure I felt like most other people felt. There’s definitely that fear and trepidation. You’re not sure if you know you even have an identity out of the military. They don’t want you to operate as an individual. They want you to operate as a unit. So it’s kind of—“Am I ready to find that—I’ve been in my entire adult life. That’s part of my identity. Am I ready to leave this behind?” I love taking care of the people, my airmen, so leaving them behind, and knowing that you could be the leader that they needed, and just kind of instilling that in them from my leadership, I feel like I left them in good hands. And so that kind of eased the fear and trepidation a little bit, but I was excited, and I think I knew that I wanted to retire when I started kind of rebelling a little bit—so I didn’t do anything, but I’m looking at the nail colors and I’m like, “I really want to dye my hair every color of the rainbow.” So it was time to get my identity back, and it was definitely my time.

Kathleen Smith 06:25

That’s a really great way to say that you’re starting to rebel and create your own identity. Because I think we talk a lot in many different transition classes and on many podcasts about what is your identity outside of the military, and most of your formative years when we think that we’re building our identity, it’s within this infrastructure, with this support, with this wardrobe limitation, with this communication sort of structure—how do we learn to do all of that? So good on you for knowing that rebelling and finding your own identity was like—“Time, time to leave.” So you mentioned in our pre-call that military transition felt like you were graduating from high school. So you want to tell us a little bit about that? And how did it feel being courted during your interview process by a bank help ease your feelings of imposter syndrome?

Trecie Spencer 07:21

Absolutely, so I told all my friends, I think I was amongst the first of my friends to retire. And I told them, “You know, when you do retire, just expect to feel almost like a child—like you’ve done this your whole life. There’s so much guidance and structure in the military that you almost kind of question if you can have that same resiliency and drive and determination without it, right?” And then you also wonder, for me, specifically, as an IT project manager, I’m like, “Am I on top of my game? And am I on top in the industry? Do I know what I’m supposed to know for the civilian sector, or is my knowledge really just limited to military knowledge? Is it only useful here, or is it going to be useful to me in industry?” So having that interview and getting courted by the bank, they were looking for a very specific thing when they did choose me and interview me, and they took me to a lunch interview, and it was really nice. They really rolled out the red carpet for me. And so they were looking for the structure. They were looking for the presence of someone that could step in and kind of just immediately have the presence of a leader and a manager. So that’s really what they wanted. In the end, I decided not to take that because I kind of wanted to step away from that a little bit, right? I didn’t necessarily—I retired as E-7, I was in that leadership position. I didn’t necessarily want to continue on that. I wanted to, like I said, find my identity, but that did help me and give me the confidence that I needed to know that I did have what people were looking for, and I had valuable talents to offer.

Rachel Bozeman 08:57

So Trecie, have to ask you a question first before I go into an important one. What nail color did you choose when you first retired?

Trecie Spencer 09:04

Fire engine red.

Rachel Bozeman 09:05

Of course, there it is. I knew it was something sassy. I love it. Well, something you may not have anticipated when you did get that little bit of rebellion and that identity need to express identity kind of coming out was that you did it at the perfect time when there was that lovely hiring freeze going on. But in the midst of all of that, how did you really keep yourself grounded when there was so much uncertainty? And is there advice that you could give to others who may be going through something similar?

Trecie Spencer 09:38

Yes, so I felt like I was prepared, right? They preach it to you. They beat it into your head with transition classes and everything—you know, have your savings, have your resume done. TAPS is an amazing, amazing resource, invaluable. I know a lot of people avoid it for whatever reason, or they feel like they’re prepared because they have the size job that they’re already doing—I would encourage people still take TAPS, take it multiple times, it is absolutely invaluable. But I do feel like that was a very tumultuous time in my life, of course, and it was right at the—I think it was right before COVID, or right at the onset of COVID, so a lot of things were happening. And the hiring freeze, of course, was Murphy’s Law once again. So I kind of knew that another organization on base was looking for a civil service employee, and it just stressed me out, expecting to go right into a job and then the rug is kind of pulled out from underneath you. You start researching because you have nothing but time. So I’m like on all the websites, checking the status of the hiring freeze every day. I had absolutely tremendous friends. My girlfriend Latia was absolutely pivotal in keeping me grounded. Cynthia, one of my best friends to this day—she just retired recently, and I was able to help her out with that. Just have a great support system and take the time. If I could say nothing else to people transitioning, set yourself a gate check—basically enjoy. Set yourself some time aside to enjoy retirement and enjoy finding yourself again. Then you set that gate of when you want to start looking for jobs, because I made the mistake of just looking immediately. I was looking before I got out. I never stopped looking. And then the potential of this job falling through—I’m like, seeing my savings deplete month by month. I’m like, “I have to take care of my family. What am I going to do?” As prepared as you are, you could never be prepared for such a huge transition. I don’t think anyone ever really has all the building blocks in place. There’s always going to be a curveball that comes in. So just be flexible, have your support system, and just keep a positive mindset and know that everything’s going to work out.

Kathleen Smith 11:59

All great advice, and I’m actually going to sort of rephrase all of that so that we really get that honed in. The one that I love, because we keep hearing this one, is doing TAPS, not once, but at least twice, because we all know that we don’t hear everything the first time. And if you know, like one of our other guests said, it was a year between the first time they went through TAPS and the second time, and a lot can change—regulation-wise, the market-wise—and having a network, it’s really important that you maintain that network and that support network, so that helps you through your transition. And there is always going to be a curveball. No matter what happened, there’s going to be a curveball. I just had a curveball where I fractured my ankle, and that set me aside for 16 weeks. So going on life with not the same physical fortitude that you had, but being able to draw upon your emotional and mental fortitude, and those really rely on your support network. So kudos to you for all that really great advice you’re passing on to our listeners. So some other great things that you’ve said is that it’s experiences and travel, rather than material things, that really drive you. So how has your passion for new experiences and travel shaped your life and your career choices since you’ve left the Air Force?

Trecie Spencer 13:16

Absolutely, so I always like to say “presence over possessions,” right? I’m just not a person where material things drive me or brands or what I have. My dad instilled it in me and my sisters at a young age. We used to always just hop in the car and go. So that sense of adventure and kind of wanderlust has always been in me. I love learning about new cultures. Now that I’m traveling worldwide, I had been traveling before the military and never stopped. The military was actually a perfect fit for me because of that. I wasn’t one of those people that wanted to stay home. I always wanted to go somewhere else, somewhere new, and pretty much about every two years—because I was a military brat—I got that itch to kind of go somewhere else. And so I think that it has shaped my job searches, because, of course, I’m looking for something that’s going to provide me the opportunity to travel, flexibility. Of course, everyone knows federal government right now—we’re not so flexible. We’re not actually able to travel right now, but it’ll come back, right. And those opportunities, I always take them. And so while it hasn’t necessarily molded my decisions just yet, because I have a son in the Air Force—he’s stationed at Guam and contracting right now—and then I have another son that’s here at home, so he’s a senior, so when he graduates, it’s absolutely going to drive my decisions on what I want to do with my life and my career next, because I’m always looking for the next location and the next culture, and meeting new people just makes me happy.

Rachel Bozeman 14:46

So love it. I’m also a proud mom of a class of 2026—let’s get it.

Trecie Spencer 14:51

We can do it. Yes, wonderful.

Rachel Bozeman 14:56

Well, kind of looking back and across the span of your military career and that journey, is there something that you’re most proud of?

Trecie Spencer 15:04

Yes, I’d say that I’m most proud of being able to remain true to myself and my own independence and morals and values. I think you hear it all the time in the military—you know, you may come across a bad leader or bad manager. You say, “I don’t want to be like that person,” or, “I needed this when I was a young airman. I want to be the person to give that to my airmen.” And for me, I was fortunate to have mostly great leaders, especially in the beginning of my career. So they really set the bar high for me, and I strive to be like them. Taking care of people was my priority at all times. As soon as I got into a position of leadership, I always wanted to kind of mold and grow and raise the babies that came in after me and let them know that good leaders are out there, and they will have your back when you need them. And that really makes or breaks people’s experiences in the military. You know, you hear all the time—one person can run an assignment for someone. So I never wanted to be that person. I always wanted to protect them. So I’m really proud of being able to remain true to that.

Kathleen Smith 16:09

So one thing that we really like doing on this show is taking an opportunity for—now that you’ve shared your story and that you’ve shared the curveballs and the great experiences and stuff—if you could sort of go back and talk to a younger self, or go back and talk to another young airman who’s about ready to prepare for their transition or hit the retirement button, what would be the one piece of advice? If there’s two, that’s okay, but what would be the one piece of advice you would give them?

Trecie Spencer 16:41

Make yourself uncomfortable at all times. Step outside of your comfort zone. I know it’s hard. A lot of people are not very social anymore. So the socialization—we used to have to when I first went in the military, we stopped to hand-carry everything and route it. There were no—we weren’t routing it online for signatures, we were actually walking around, and like I said, I was a very, very shy person. I barely spoke in school because I didn’t want to get in trouble. I’m a rule follower, so just making myself uncomfortable is what led to my success in my career. And I would say, as you’re transitioning, do those interviews—feel silly. You’re going to feel silly doing them, right? You’re going to get nervous. Your voice is going to get shaky. A lot of people don’t like public speaking. Whatever it is that makes you uncomfortable, do it, because the more you do it, the less uncomfortable you will be, and the more comfortable you’ll get with it. And it’s just building those skills. But I would absolutely say that much for sure—definitely make yourself uncomfortable.

Kathleen Smith 17:44

This has been a fabulous conversation, and I’m actually getting a little clamped over here because I just found you on LinkedIn, looked at your background, thought amazing, how amazing you are, and you just hit it out of the park. So thank you so much for sharing your story with us, and all the best of luck to you and your new adventures after your son graduates.

Trecie Spencer 18:06

Thank you so much for having me, and thank you for the opportunity. I really appreciate it.

Rachel Bozeman 18:10

Thanks so much, Trecie.

Kathleen Smith 18:15

It was great chatting with Trecie, and I really loved her focus on new experiences and presence rather than possessions. I thought that was really great because I can’t tell you how many times when my spouse and I would talk about people transitioning out of the military, and the first thing they do is they acquire cars and all kinds of things, rather than looking for that presence of experience and new adventures.

Rachel Bozeman 18:47

Well, I love that one. I think it is all about making the memories, doing the things, being brave, having courage—and being uncomfortable was probably what resonated the most. It was—“Do what’s uncomfortable for you. That’s when change occurs the most often.” And I just thought that was such a great reminder, not only in transitioning, but just in life—don’t be okay with being okay. Make sure you’re challenging yourself every single day. Try the new things. Eat that new thing on your plate. Say hello to that person you haven’t said hello to before, and gosh darn it, paint those nails fire engine red when the moment hits. It was a lot of fun, and hopefully you walked away inspired and encouraged. Make sure you also are a good buddy and text this to a friend. Hit the Follow button and tune again next week. Until then, bye, bye—gotta let my nails dry.